Having a Rough Day....Sigh

I am dying to just chew on something, anything I think would suffice.  Neil and I did some running around today to different stores because I want to have a garage sale while I am off and seeing all the things in the stores that I CANT have made today very difficult.  Dr Kemmeter said the emotional adjustment is by far the hardest because he can do surgery on my stomach but not on my brain.  The old desires are still there.  I crave salty things, crunchy things....anything that doesnt have a paste consistency.  Right now my thoughts are in the "what have I done" mode.  Most people wouldnt admit that but I want people that read this to know they are not alone if they are feeling the same way.  It helps to know that I will be able to eat something crunchy again someday (in like 12 weeks) so I only have 11 weeks to go.  I also know how incredibly dangerous it is to waiver from the diet and I will not do that.  So for another 3 weeks it is liquids and protien shakes and suppliments, after that I get to have pureed food that has an applesauce consistency.  The truth be known, Im actually craving scrambled eggs and some cottage cheese.  Both of those are very healthy and a part of my new diet but my stomache would not welcome them right now.  A piece of toast would be nice to!  A few other things have happened today that have been difficult for me.  My sugar numbers and my blood pressure numbers are stabilizing on their own and because my body is not use to it I am experiencing light headedness, shakiness and blurred vision.  I also attempted to take a nap in my bed today but that was a really bad idea.  Not only was the pain incredibly harsh but within moments the acid reflux kicked in from laying flat.  I have been sleeping in my recliner in the living room since I came home from the hospital and I really want to be in my bed.  I am able to sleep really good in the recliner but I miss being next to Neil.  The drugs that they send you home on are very helpful although I have only used 3 of them.  One is the prilosec that I have to take one a day for the next couple of months until my stomach accepts its trauma, another is Liquid Vicodin which helps with the pain but I dont take enough of it before it wears off.  I am suppose to take it every 4 hours but its usually more like every 6 hours for me.  Another drug is called Levisin which you put under your tongue and it relaxes your reflux muscles and works instantly which is awesome.  I have a feeling I am going to be a long-time friend with Mr. Levisin.  The other 2 drugs I am not taking and they are Valium which was prescribed for muscle spasms and Phenergan which is used to reduce nausea and vomitting.  I have been fortunate to not need those drugs.  Besides all of the above, things have been going very well as far as my body adjusting to the new stomache, my brain just needs to get on the same page and it will.  I have not experienced any vomitting or nausea and I am able to get plenty of fluids in and I am working my way up to 4 full servings of protien as well. 

I have lost 26 pounds since June 1st.  23 of those pounds were prior to surgery on the 2 week out diet.  That is exciting stuff right there. I have been getting in an average of an hour a day walking around the neighborhood.  Sometimes I go alone, sometimes I take the dogs and sometimes Donny or Neil joins me.  I am really enjoying the walking, I forgot how much I love to walk.  I try to walk for at least 10 minutes every hour.  The storms have made that a little challenging for me so this morning I started my day with a 25 minute walk.  I am in the market for a food processor and we have been looking at the Magic Bullet.  It is $50 at Bed Bath and Beyond and I have a 20% off coupon which is a great deal.  Neil checked several other places but nothing is cheaper than that.  The magic bullet has great ratings and it comes with everything I am going to need to puree my foods.  If you have any experience with the magic bullet or know of a better one, please feel free to let me know.  Also if you know of anything that is sugar free, fat free, salty and is as smooth as applesauce but has a crunch to it, please please let me know....Until next time....thanks for joining me on my journey, I can do this!!!!