Today I dance....literally

77 pounds and a total of 88.5" gone!!

Today marks my 5 month surgerversary and so much has happened in the last 30 days I just hope that I remember to include it all.  Lets start with dancing, I went out with some friends a couple weeks ago and I danced and I wasnt afraid of the pain.  Sure I was "careful" but I still danced and it felt amazing.  Neil and I even shared our first slow dance that night and it was wonderful.  We fit if that makes any sense at all.  I have been attending support group at Grand Health Partners and I have met some really amazing people.  Its nice to have people in your life that are on the same journey that you are on.  I no longer take medication for high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol which is the true win from all of this.  I get cold ALOT easier now which is frustrating for me but I can always put more clothes on.  Here is the big one.......ready....I wear CUTE shoes now!!!  I bought 7 pair last week just to get it out of my system.  Its an adjustment to wear chunky heels but I am getting use to it.  I am developing a "shape" which is more of an hourglass than round now and it feels good.  I have been struggling with headaches alot lately but I figure in the big scheme of things, that is a small price to pay.  I am hoping that new glasses will fix the headache issue and that it is not relative to the surgery at all.  I have never been a headache sufferer so its a big pissy deal to me.  I went ring shopping and I was actually able to fit the "regular" size rings on my finger....unbelievable.  I am way more active socially than I have been in the past and I actually look forward to weekends now and doing things, I even do things during the week after work which was unheard of for me.  Seems like I am always in go go go mode now which is stressful but really nice.  Neil and I are literally booked every weekend now until after the holidays....weekends are no longer for doing chores, now they are for enjoyment which is not easy for me to get use to but I am managing :)  I no longer live to eat but instead I simply eat to live.  With the exception of candy, nobody needs candy to live but I manage to fit a few pieces in every now and then and I dont feel guilty about it which is beautiful in its own rite.  There are so many people that have been an amazing support for me on this journey and I still have a long ways to go.  I want to lose another 43 pounds to hit my initial goal.  The men in the picture above have been amazing gifts to me.  Dr Kemmeter gave me the tools I needed to be successful and Neil has given me unconditional love and support which are the biggest tools of all on this journey and I fall more and more in love with him everyday.  I told him that I dont think life gets better than this and he said "yes it does", I guess I will have to wait and see because my happiness meter is off the charts right now.

4 months and 73 pounds gone FOREVER

Another month has passed and I am down another 6 pounds.  The weight loss is tapering down on me but I have determined my next step to help boost my weight loss once again.  I have been reading the book "Diet Solutions For Life" which is the program that is used at Grand Health Partners for their medical weight loss patients.  It has some amazing tips and tricks for long term success.  It focuses mainly on how to deal with emotional eating and cognitive behaviour training.  The main reason people fail at weight loss is because they focus on the weight loss but not the re-training of your thought processes when it comes to food.  It is those same thought processes that made you overweight and it is those same reactions to emotions that will bring the weight back on.  I am an emotional eater....EVERYONE is.  The book defines emotional eating as "eating anytime you are not hungry".  Now unfortunately that rule can not apply to those of us that have had Weight loss surgery because we dont generally get hungry, instead we have to remind ourselves to eat at least every 4 hours.  I do however suffer from emotional eating when it comes to tempations such as CAKE or COOKIES, you get the idea.  Since reading this book I have not given into a single temptation because I now know how to get past those temptations.  I do allow myself treats on occassion but they are planned as part of my daily intake.  I am starting to think more like a thin person and I am definitely eating like one!!!  I have developed a list of Goals and Rewards that will also inspire me and push me to reach the goals.  This was an idea from the Solutions for Life program and I have included it in this writing.  If you have any other ideas for goals or rewards please feel free to share them with me, I would love to hear them.  Its hard to think of great rewards that wont break the bank.

Overall it has been a great month.  I have done alot of shopping for more clothes from several thrift shops and my friends continue to donate to my cause which is greatly appreciated.  I had a couple Non Scale victories this month including putting on a pair of SUPER CUTE boots and having them actually fit!!!  I was also going thru my closet to update the "I can wear this now section" and came across a cute fitted top that I looked at and said ummmm thats NOT going to fit me.  I tried it on anyways and it so DID fit me.  Even though the scale doesnt seem to be moving much it is obvious that the inches are still falling off which is interestingly odd but I'll take it.  Signing off for now because I just earned myself a Facial and a Bubble Bath and I am going to go and enjoy it.  Until next time....I am down 73 pounds and I CAN DO THIS

Weight Loss Goals and Rewards

Starting Weight 299.8  Current Weight 227.4  Goal Weight 180

LONG TERM GOALS	DATE COMP	REWARD
Weight 225		Order Meatloaf pans
Weight 220 (Neils Weight)		Ask Friends to write a love list for me
Weight  215		Buy a new bathroom rug
Weight 210		$20 at Hobby Lobby
Weight 205		Get a Miche Purse
Weight 199  OMG		Buy a new ring
Weight 195		Buy a new kitchen faucet
Weight 190		Front load washer and dryer
Weight 185		Buy new shoes
Weight 180  (My goal reached)		Have professional pics taken
Fit into size 18 pants		Buy Victoria Secret Vanilla Lace
Fit into size 16 pants		Buy New Clothing Item
Fit into size 14 pants		Go to Casino
Wear that amazing black dress (L)		Go to nice dinner
SHORT TERM GOALS	DATE COMP	REWARD
Work out 5 days a week 30 min		Go to the Movies
Enter in Journal 30 days		Buy a Nook Book
Take your Measurements NOV		Buy new slippers
Take Your Picture OCT 17		Give yourself a Facial
Work out 5 days a week 45 min		Buy $20 I-tunes gift card
Update Blog Oct 17th		Take a hot bubble bath
Work out 5 days a week 30 min		Costume Jewelry
Enter in Journal 60 days		Get a pedicure
Take your Measurements DEC		$10 Dollar store trip
Take Your Picture NOV 17		Take a hot bubble bath
Work out 5 days a week 45 min		Buy a Book
Update Blog NOV 17th		Buy a Magazine
Go to GHP Support Group		Buy something from Bath and Body
ADD ON GOALS	DATE COMP	REWARD
Read the Book Walk Yourself Thin		Buy a House Plant
		Night out on the town
		Buy New Hair

Fat Rants and Candycorn

Sooooo...my ass is way bigger than the rest of me and although it seems to be catching up it sure is moving slowly.  I am in a 20 pant and an XL shirt, oh yeah I look like a bariatric patient.  This to shall pass.  This past week has really been testing my will power because the stress is out of control right now and the pre-surgery me always turned to junk food (mainly candy) when the stress and/or emotions were in overdrive.  Sometimes I wish they could have done surgery on my brain at the same time they did the weight loss surgery.  This week has made me realize more than ever that this surgery is nothing more than a tool and you can either use it and be successful or you can go back to your old habits and stay the unhealthy person you were before.  I slipped a couple times this week which is the first time my emotional eating has come back to haunt me since surgery.  Now keep in mind that when I say I "slipped" it simply means I ate a couple pieces of candy or something I shouldnt have.  It doesnt mean that I went to the buffet and pigged out because I am not able to do that with my stomache restriction, however with the stresses in my life, I may have if Sally would have allowed me to.    Here is a fun story for you all to enjoy.  Most people that know me well also know that I have an obsession with candycorn and guess what season it is??  Yup its CANDYCORN season.  Every aisle of every store has candy corn in it and I can literally smell it seeping from the bags.  I have walked past this temptation a hundred times, picked up a bag, put it back down and repeat.  Well one day I didnt put it back down.  I said to myself, self you need to get this craving out of your system.  So I bought a bag and I ate about 10 pieces and got so sick that I dont foresee any candycorn in my future.  Candycorn no longer has to be the enemy!! 

 I had something happen to me the other day that made me realize why there are so many fat people in the world.  I stopped at a speedway and because I was in a rush and hadnt prepared my food for the day I needed something to eat.  I chose their little container of popcorn chicken which sells for $1.49 or 2 for $2???  So I asked the lady, hey lady can I get one for $1 and she said nope so I grabbed a second item which was a burger to take back to the employees at work.  It was the idea that Speedway wanted to scrrew me over that FORCED me to buy that second item....are you kidding me.  Anyways, it worked out because one of the guys at work jumped at the burger but now I spent an extra 50 cents and I am helping others get fat in the process.  Also have you ever been to a Burger King or McDonalds when they wanted to supersize EVERYTHING for you at a price that was so low that you literally look like an idiot if you say no??  I havent done fast food in so long that I dont know if they even still do that but I bet they do.  Then I went to my bank to deposit my bonus check from work and when the little tube came back with my receipt guess what else was in there....yup you guessed it, CANDY!!!  Yes I know that direct deposit would have solved that issue which I do have but my bonus came in a manual check, forcing me to go to the bank and get free candy???

Today I had my 3 month check up and it went very well.  My cholesterol is PERFECT (those were the doctors words not mine) so I can stop taking that medication.  I can now stop taking all of my diabetic medication as well.  I asked how I was doing with my weightloss and the doctor said I hate to even discuss that because it is so different for everyone, then she pulled it up and said oh your down 70 pounds???  She then stated that was more typical for a 6 MONTH checkin, not a 3 month!!!  YAY Spring is doing good.   I do have some numbers that are not as good as they should be.  My protien level should be between 6.4-8.3 and it is at 6.0 so they want me to eat MORE protien.  Holy smokes I have a hard time gettin in 60g now they want me doing 80.  I'll do my best, I promise.  My white blood count is high which is a concern because that generally indicates some type of infection in my body.  I will be having that checked in a week and if it is still high then they will start looking for infection.  Intersting because I feel infectionless...lol

I officially have 10 pounds to lose to reach Neils weight which is my first goal!!!  Then I will have 20 pounds to lose to the next goal which is ONEDERLAND.  I dont believe I have seen the 100s since I was 12 years old.  Sad but so true.  This journey has been so exciting and so challenging at the same time.  I have made so many positive changes in my life and it wont be long and I'll be in super cute shoes!!!  Thank you to everyone for your gifts of clothing (I dont know what I would have done without all these amazing clothes), all the encouragment and compliments and to my besties...your unconditional love because I know this journey has not always been easy for you.  I also want to send a shout out to Amy and Alaina for your inspiration from your own successes.  I am so blessed to have you by my side and to Jen who has started her journey and is doing amazing at just 30 days out!!!  Lots of love and tons of thanks to everyone for your continued support!!!

10.75 inches, NSV and Amazing Deals

Our New Gym.....$50.00

So I am seeing a pattern in my weightloss and although its frustrating, the weight is still coming off and since its a pattern that I can recognize it makes it easier to deal with.  It appears that I hit a 2 week stall and then drop 5-9 pounds in one week??  This has been happening since the very beginning and the exciting news is that I should be in my weight loss week this week...WOOT WOOT  I measured in today and I have lost another 10.75 inches for a total of 58.75 inches of fat off of my total body.  My weight loss has slowed down because I have been doing exercise every single day and since muscle is leaner than fat but heavier.....blah blah blah.   I have been either walking or using my stationary bike for a minimum of 30 minutes a day and have been using our new gym for about 10-15 minutes a day.  The gym has been amazing for my herniated discs in my back because it has a leg press which is something I used during physical therapy.  I have a feeling that $50 is going to be one of the best investments we have made all year as I wont need to go to physical therapy as of right now.  Neil and I were walking a new route last week and someone had this gym (Weider Pro 9940) outside with a sign on it for $75.  I offered them $50 for it because thats what Dave Ramsey would want me to do...lol  At any rate, the guy accepted it and Neil and Andy picked it up and had it all set up for me when I came home the next day!!!  I heard it was not an easy thing to move as it had to be disassembled and then put back together......I love my boys!!! 

Today I experienced an NSV (No scale victory) when I was able to walk for an hour without needing to stop one single time to stretch my back and my hip.  I still feel pain but it is minimum in comparison.  The downfall is that my entire left leg goes completely numb while walking.  It goes numb all the way to my foot and my back specialist said that will NEVER go away because the nerve damage in my back has already been done and it cant be undone.  He reminded me that numbness is better than pain and he is sooooooo right. 

What else has been going on?  I am still feeling amazing although I have had 2 attacks of heartburn and acid reflux in the last 3 weeks.  I believe it started because I was only on Prilosec  for the first 60 days after surgery which means I am not on it anymore.  I will be seeing my family doctor next week and I will ask him to put me on it permanently.  I am hoping he can write me a prescription for it because Prilosec is super expensive!!  When I have the episodes it literally feels like my throat is on FIRE and that is not good.  I have been taking 3 different things during an attack and one of them is working, I just dont know which one it is yet...lol  The Prilosec will help so that I dont have the attacks at all.  The last two attacks came on after a period of bending, once was when I was cleaning the bathroom and the other time was when I was doing laundry....I see a pattern here and perhaps I should give up housework?  Hmmm something to think about...lol  Besides the Acid Reflux/heartburn I have been great, "Sally" and I have become good friends.  I was thinking the other day that this has  become a lifestyle for me instead of a diet.  Out of habit now I always eat my protien first.  I drink water like a crazy lady and I minimize my carb intake.  I went to the mall this weekend and had my nails done and I struck up a conversation with the lady sitting next me because NOBODY in the nail salon speaks english and I HAVE to talk to somebody...lol  Anyways we started talking about my surgery and she asked me if I could just write down the diet I am on so that she can just do the diet without the surgery.....it was cute and all but realistically I dont know if you could possibly follow this lifestyle without the VSG as a tool.  I guess you could but you would literally be starving ALL the time.  It still amazes me how little I eat and how quickly I feel full.  I have a friend that is having the surgery on the 6th of this month and I am very excited that we will have each other for support.  She has already lost quite a bit of weight during pre-op and it wont be long and she will be caught up with me....I am so proud of you Jen and so grateful that this surgery brought us together as friends.  You are going to do GREAT!!!  I am going to sign off on that note and thank you everyone again for all of your love and support.  A support system is the #1 factor in the success of this process and I am so fortunate to have all of you cheering me on.  I am down 60 pounds, 58.75 inches and I CAN DO THIS!!