31 Pounds in 23 Days!!!

Those are some pretty staggering numbers and at this rate I will be down to my birth weight of 6 pounds 10 ounces by Christmas...it is unreasonable to believe that my weightloss will continue at such an aggressive loss therefore it makes for good humor. 

The last couple of days have been very difficult for me emotionally.  Yesterday I allowed boredom to set in and all I could think about was the fact that every "best friend" I ever had is gone.  No more cigarettes, no more diet pop, no more caffiene and now no more food....who does that to themselves?  I cried pretty hysterically for about an hour in Neils arms asking myself how I was going to get thru this without a vice (I am tearing up just thinking of the episode).  I was addicted to food and it is clear to me now why it was easy for me to stop smoking and stop drinking my pop because I still had my food to turn to as a vice.  Now I have nothing except thoughts of the next 40 amazing years and I think Im going to stick with that vice.  I dont know what that weakest moment would have taken me to without Neil to guide me.  I was sooooo ready to grab for a pack of smokes.  But I didnt and the emotions passed and so did the desire for a vice.  Once I got my wits about me I decided to go for a long walk and I was pleasantly surprised when Neil caught up with me and joined me.  About 15 minutes into the walk, I had forgotten all about my desires, and I realized that walking is now my new vice!!!  I have been committed to walking about 10 minutes per hour every hour since coming home from the hospital and that has been so helpful to me emotionally, spiritually, physically and in recovery time. 

I am still taking my vitals 4 times a day and will continue doing that until my 2 week followup appointment on July 1st.  I would guess that I will be completely off my Diabetic medication by that time and hopefully eliminate my 13 daily drugs one at a time.  My numbers have been awesome these last couple days and I see no reason why they would not stay on this trend.  A year ago if you would have asked me I would have told you without hesitation that I wont live to see 60, neither of my parents lived much past that so I had sealed my own fate....Today, just one week after this surgery, I am so hopeful of the outcome that I look forward to the next 40 years.  I am dedicated to being the best me I can be.  This surgery is the exact tool that I needed to better myself physically and mentally.  This surgery is NOT a magic pill or a quick fix.  It requires dedication every single day to exercise and to healthy eating.  The surgery simply makes me feel full so that I am not as likely to overeat.  My new stomache has not rejected anything so far but I am still on straight liquids.  I am looking forward to next friday when I can start on soft foods. 

I am going to sign off as my walk awaits me.  I will continue to write these blogs as long as people continue to read them.  I have had almost 500 hits on my site for the month of june so if I am helping even one person who is either considering the surgery or struggling with their own vices, it will be worth its time in gold.  Today I have a fresh new look at life....I can do this!!!

Having a Rough Day....Sigh

I am dying to just chew on something, anything I think would suffice.  Neil and I did some running around today to different stores because I want to have a garage sale while I am off and seeing all the things in the stores that I CANT have made today very difficult.  Dr Kemmeter said the emotional adjustment is by far the hardest because he can do surgery on my stomach but not on my brain.  The old desires are still there.  I crave salty things, crunchy things....anything that doesnt have a paste consistency.  Right now my thoughts are in the "what have I done" mode.  Most people wouldnt admit that but I want people that read this to know they are not alone if they are feeling the same way.  It helps to know that I will be able to eat something crunchy again someday (in like 12 weeks) so I only have 11 weeks to go.  I also know how incredibly dangerous it is to waiver from the diet and I will not do that.  So for another 3 weeks it is liquids and protien shakes and suppliments, after that I get to have pureed food that has an applesauce consistency.  The truth be known, Im actually craving scrambled eggs and some cottage cheese.  Both of those are very healthy and a part of my new diet but my stomache would not welcome them right now.  A piece of toast would be nice to!  A few other things have happened today that have been difficult for me.  My sugar numbers and my blood pressure numbers are stabilizing on their own and because my body is not use to it I am experiencing light headedness, shakiness and blurred vision.  I also attempted to take a nap in my bed today but that was a really bad idea.  Not only was the pain incredibly harsh but within moments the acid reflux kicked in from laying flat.  I have been sleeping in my recliner in the living room since I came home from the hospital and I really want to be in my bed.  I am able to sleep really good in the recliner but I miss being next to Neil.  The drugs that they send you home on are very helpful although I have only used 3 of them.  One is the prilosec that I have to take one a day for the next couple of months until my stomach accepts its trauma, another is Liquid Vicodin which helps with the pain but I dont take enough of it before it wears off.  I am suppose to take it every 4 hours but its usually more like every 6 hours for me.  Another drug is called Levisin which you put under your tongue and it relaxes your reflux muscles and works instantly which is awesome.  I have a feeling I am going to be a long-time friend with Mr. Levisin.  The other 2 drugs I am not taking and they are Valium which was prescribed for muscle spasms and Phenergan which is used to reduce nausea and vomitting.  I have been fortunate to not need those drugs.  Besides all of the above, things have been going very well as far as my body adjusting to the new stomache, my brain just needs to get on the same page and it will.  I have not experienced any vomitting or nausea and I am able to get plenty of fluids in and I am working my way up to 4 full servings of protien as well. 

I have lost 26 pounds since June 1st.  23 of those pounds were prior to surgery on the 2 week out diet.  That is exciting stuff right there. I have been getting in an average of an hour a day walking around the neighborhood.  Sometimes I go alone, sometimes I take the dogs and sometimes Donny or Neil joins me.  I am really enjoying the walking, I forgot how much I love to walk.  I try to walk for at least 10 minutes every hour.  The storms have made that a little challenging for me so this morning I started my day with a 25 minute walk.  I am in the market for a food processor and we have been looking at the Magic Bullet.  It is $50 at Bed Bath and Beyond and I have a 20% off coupon which is a great deal.  Neil checked several other places but nothing is cheaper than that.  The magic bullet has great ratings and it comes with everything I am going to need to puree my foods.  If you have any experience with the magic bullet or know of a better one, please feel free to let me know.  Also if you know of anything that is sugar free, fat free, salty and is as smooth as applesauce but has a crunch to it, please please let me know....Until next time....thanks for joining me on my journey, I can do this!!!!

Walk, eat, breath and pass gas...

That pretty much sums up my activity since my surgery on Friday.  The pain is so much better now and I am hoping to get off the pain meds asap.  I was suppose to work up to walking 30 minutes per day and I already walked over an hour today.  I am pretty darn proud of myself for that.  Realistically there isnt anything else for me to do except learn to transition into this new life style.  I am so fortunate to have Neil by my side on this journey, he has been my hero every step of the way.  He makes me feel proud of my accomplishments and he has taken over the house so that I dont have to worry about any of that.  He surprised me with an awesome Hammock to enjoy outside and he never left my side during my hospital stay.   I am not able to walk up and down steps as of yet.  I am anxious for the incision pain to dissapear completely so that I can see what my stomache really feels like.  I can feel it when the liquids enter and exit the stomache which is pretty cool.  I eat out of little bitty containers so that I dont accidently over induldge.  I dont see that happening because your belly isnt going to let you do that.  Right now I am only taking in about 1 serving of the protien product and about 50 oz of water.  I am suppose to work up to 4 servings of the protien product and 64 oz of water.  I have not experienced any of the nausea or light headeness since the surgery which apparently is unheard of.  Must be the 10% of my stomach they left behind is made of pure iron!!!  Or it may be that I have not waivered one little bit from the strict diet that was given to me.  I am sure at some point I will get to experiene the joy of my stomaches rejection.  I wont be eating "solid" food for a month yet so who knows.  I am not able to sleep in my bed because I have to be sitting at a 45 degree angle to reduce the acid reflux.  Fortunately I have a recliner that Daniel brought upstairs for me to sleep in and it hasnt been bad at all.  Yesterday I slept almost all day and was only up to eat and walk but today I have been awake much more than I have been asleep.  Hopefully in the next couple of days I will be able to transition back into my bed.  Much of the swelling I experienced has gone down which was aweful when it was there.  My hand looked like someone had blown up one of those latex gloves.  The Doctor warned me not to weigh myself when I got home because he said I was pumped full of fluids and would have gained weight.  Guess what I did when I got home?  Yup and I actually gained 8 pounds while I was in the hospital.  Most of it is gone now but I thought that was some crazy irony.  Apparently they also pump you full of air because I have been passing that for the last couple days as well and that has made a huge differnce in how I am feeling.  I hate the feeling of being gassed up and with all the other stuff going on in your body, the gas just makes it that much worse.  I still have alot of water and gas to pass but hopefully I will be done with all of it in a couple of days!!  I am staying as active as possible, the Doctor at the time of discharge said "you can do anything you want as long as it doesnt hurt".  So I have been able to keep my garden watered as of today, I did some light housekeeping and Neil took me out on my first journey to Meijer.  It felt good to get out if even for just a minute.  At the rate things are going, I would expect to return to work the first week of July which is MUCH sooner then originally anticipated. 

2 Days Post Op and Im going home

I am pleased to say that the surgery is done but not as complete as we had hoped.  My gall bladder turned out to be a much larger issue than we could have ever imagined.  Not only was the gall bladder very enlarged and infected but there were also very large stones inside my common bile duct that needed to be removed.  The common bile duct is necessary for your bodies fluids to pass thru properly and cannot be obstructed or removed.  Since Dr Kemmeter had to perform work on that area he was not able to complete the 2nd part of the Duodenal switch which is the part that creates the malobsortion.  Now I had  quite the support group up here with me and apparently they were all called into the conference room about midway thru surgery to discuss some of these issues and the decisions that needed to be made.  The end result was the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy with the ability to complete the switch at a later time if needed.  I have done alot of research on the Sleeve Gastrectomy and I believe I can get the results I desire with this as a stand alone tool, it will take much more work and a stricter diet on my part but it is certainly doable. No matter what tool your given it is still a huge lifestyle change and mindset.  Here are a few of the conditions I am experiencing right now, extreme swelling in my hands and feet that will likely go away within the next few days, extreme tenderness and bruising around the incision sites (there are 6 sites), I am still pretty tired from the narcotic pain medications but so thankful that I have them.  The pain is alot worse than I thought it would be but I understand that just becomes a tiny piece of a very huge picture for the rest of your life.  In other words, apparently once I see the results, I wont even remember the pain involved.  I am actually going home this morning, thank goodness.  Neil and the boys are all at MIS for the Nascar race for the day so Kelly is picking me up at the hospital and taking me home....poor girl is going to be stuck with me all day, I'll try not to whine to much!!!  That is all that I have for now...im still pretty groggy so it takes alot out of me to think....lol  Thanks again to everyone for your amazing support....and I will share my successes and my failures as we travel on this journey to my new life!!!  I am ready!!!

One Day Pre-Op

So here I am, one day pre-op believing that my life is going to be forever changed and being at peace with the thought of it.  Since starting this journey, many things in my life have changed.  I am down 21 pounds from the 800 calorie diet I have been on for the last 2 weeks.  I have been a non-smoker since Easter Sunday which is hard for even me to believe but I am so proud of that one.  I no longer drink Diet Pepsi or anything with carbonation or caffiene in it (that was a tough one), I have accepted that sweets, breads and pasta are probably forever out of my diet due to the likely reaction of my new stomach, in fact I am aware that my new tummy may refuse many of my current favorite foods.  I am aware of the many risks of this surgery and I am at peace with that, something brought me here, there is a reason I made this decision and my heart tells me it is the right one.

Everything happens for a reason.....even if you dont know what that reason is....I dont know how much of that statement is true and how much of it is absolute bullshit but I guess there is some truth in everything that is written. There are ALOT of things that have happened in my life that I wonder what the reason is....Was I not able to have children of my own because caring for my brother was part of the "plan"? Did I take the road less traveled to avoid the accident I would have been killed in? Did I not know how to spell my first name in kindergarden so that I would be driven to be a teacher to others? Did I let go of something amazing to avoid the pain of it letting go of me? Am I faced with challenges just to test my strength? Does everything really happen for a reason??? Ya, I think it does. I think my gall bladder attack 2 weeks ago was Gods way of telling me I am doing the right thing considering I had never had an attack and didnt even know I had stones.  yes everything happens for a reason....

So today I will be surrounded by friends and family at my house as we are having a slumber party since they want to be with me at 5am in the hospital.  I wonder if I will sleep at all tonight....I am left with positive thoughts and asking everyone to please send me positive vibes on Friday morning.  For those of you that would like to check in on my progress, Neil will have my phone that day, surgery is at 7:30am at Spectrum Healths Blodgett Campus and it is estimated to take 6-8 hours.  Feel free to call him for updates or I am sure someone will be updating on facebook. 

Many people have asked me why I want to lose the weight and here are a few reasons I thought I would share with you:
No more diabetes
No more High blood pressure
No more high cholesterol
CUTE SHOES
shop in normal stores
I think Im going to dance
never wonder if im going to fit in a booth
go on a plane without asking for a seatbelt extender
go up and down steps with ease
easier to exercise
happier overall attitude
participate in more volunteer events
participate in more physical activities
CUTE SHOES
fit comfortably in an MRI if I should ever need another one
be able to wear hospital pants and a single gown
Take pressure off my knees and joints
Have more energy
Take dogs for long walks
snowblow without being winded
CUTE SHOES
Live a longer life
Be able to comfortably paint my own toenails
Tie my shoes easily
not worry about how small a public restroom is
I can dress super cute
CUTE SHOES

Thank you everyone for your support and involvement in this journey.  You have no idea how much your support means to me.  I have also fixed the comment area on the blogspot so that anyone can click to leave a comment as that was a problem I heard.  I will be updating my blog as soon as I am able to let you know what one day post op is like....wish me luck!!!

4 Days Pre Op

I had my final appointment before surgery and everything looks good.  I have been feeling really light headed lately and it is because my blood pressure is dropping drasticly.  The doctor said it is in the "safe" range so he doesnt want to change my meds, he just warned me to stand up slowly....great advice for someone that feels like they are going to pass out everytime they stand up....my blood pressure was 104/50 and usually runs 120/70.  Needless to say, I had one hell of a crash on Friday night at work which was aweful.    I made it home safely, Neil was outside waiting for me and I honestly dont remember much after that but I know I woke up the next morning feeling much better.  The only thing that may be changed early this week is my vitamin supplements when the doctor gets my lab results back he may need to increase or decrease something. Yesterday was a great day.  I spent the morning getting things cleaned up and ready for my time away.  There is still alot to do but I have plenty of time.  I spent the afternoon at Meijer Gardens which is by far one of my favorite places to visit.  I am a member so I am sure I will be spending alot of time there while I am off of work.  It is peaceful and beautiful there.   I dont know how many of those places are left in this world but I have a feeling that once I am feeling better and healthier that I will see many more beautiful places with a new set of eyes.  I am excited.  I have decided not to let anything get me down this week or anyone for that matter.  I have my head pretty full at this point and I want negative stuff far far away from me :) Neil asked me last night if I was scared, I almost started crying just at the question but I pulled it together.  I said, Im not afraid of dying, Im more afraid of how this surgery is going to change my life.  I guess regardless if it is good change or bad change, change is a scary thing.   I have a feeling the rest of this week is going to drag.  Neil and I have things planned to stay busy so hopefully that will help.  I told him last night that I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up to Friday morning and he said it will be here soon enough....soon enough

7 Days Pre-Op

Neil made me this little board with flip numbers so I can
 watch my weight go down.  Its awesome!!!

At this time, one week from now my new life will begin!!!!  Wow I am getting so incredibly excited about all of the possibilitys that lay before me.  I cannot wait to discover all of the living I HAVENT been doing and didnt even realize it.  I am a very active girl, even at my current weight it is almost impossible to keep me sitting still.  I can only imagine the energy I will have after the surgery and the weight loss.  I have had several friends "check in" over the last couple days just telling me that they are thinking about me and that means sooooo much to me.  I have an amazing support group joining me on this journey and I do recognize how fortunate I truly am. A special call-out and thank you to Amy Collins who had the surgery about 2 years ago and looks and feels incredible.  She said she never realized what kind of a "fog" she was living in until she wasnt.  Amy has lost over 200 pounds on her journey and I am so proud of her, she has truly been an inspiration to me and I am especially fortunate to have her by my side.  She has been a great source of information, tips and tricks for me.  Not to mention quite the motivator. 

On the flip side of this lovely coin, I have also been a beautiful disaster the last few days.   My head is going in a million different directions filled with worries and concerns.  Not about anything major but just the simple things in life like what can i do to make my time away super easy for my brother.  For those of you that are not aware, I have custody of my brother who is 47 years old and mentally handicapped.  There are several things in life, he just doesnt grasp ahold of.  His mind function is equal to a 12 year old....which happens to be one of the things I love about him so much!!!  So anyways, I worry about him like a mom worries about their baby.  I finally told him about the surgery because I had to prepare him for the fact that I wont be going to Nascar with him on Fathers Day.  He seems ok with the fact that he is going to be going with "the boys" but he really wanted his sister there, maybe next year buddy...maybe next year.  I am already stressing about being left alone 2 days after surgery because the boys will all be at Nascar.  I will likely still be in the hospital during that time and one of my besties has offered to stay with me but I hate to keep her away from her dad on fathers day....see I worry to much. 


I also found out that my gall bladder is full of stones....so I will find out for sure today but it is likely that I will have my gall bladder removed at the same time of the surgery.  I told Neil last night that it feels like they are going to be de-gutting me....lol  Today is my final appointment before surgery.  I have also decided to take the next week off of work to allow me time to prepare for this life change.  There are a few things I am doing this week for fun like going to the Ford Museum, visiting Meijer Gardens and also visiting a special place with a dock and alot of water.  I go to this special place to clear my mind and some of my best thinking has been done on that dock along with some of my worst decisions.  I guess its a love hate relationship I have with the dock but its my special place!!  I would also like to see my brother-in-law (ex) and his family before the surgery as well.  We are trying to make that work but we will see.  I will know more after today.

10 Days pre-op

I have alot to talk about today, food product, numbers, advocates and gall bladders....Lets start out that I have been on the food product now for 5 days and it is not nearly as aweful as I thought it would be. 

What you see above is my typical day on the product.  That is some serious food packed with 800 solid calories of pure protien.  My morning starts out with some crystal light (which I have aquired a taste for), and either a single protien blueberry pancake with I cant believe its not butter spray or maple and brown sugar oatmeal.  Then I will enjoy a snack around 9am of either jello, turkey jerky, a protien bbq snack mix or a protien bar.  Lunch will be a very small bowl of protien soup then another snack in the afternoon, dinner is either a Pasta Chicken, Honey Pork, or Spaghetti and meatball dinner followed by a snack later in the evening.  I will be honest that the last couple days I have had to force myself to eat the last 2 meals because that protien really fills you up.  I just havent been feeling hungry which isnt a terrible thing but definitely surprising considering what I am taking in.  I am VERY proud to say that I made it thru our summer kickoff celebration without going off of the product or eating anything I shouldnt.  The next morning was not nearly as easy as I decided to try a couple peanut butter carmel cookies that my friend Linda brought and I experienced what could only be described as a gall bladder attack.  Well it turns out that is likely that it was a gall bladder attack.  I was not able to breath without crying out in pain....I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow to look at the gall bladder and I suppose worst case is that they will remove it with the rest of the surgery.  The pain on Sunday was easily a 12 out of 10 and yesterday and today are about a 3 on the pain scale.  I will tell you that I havent gone off the product nor even thought about it since then because my little brain is convinced that is what caused the pain.  So I should be thankful it happened. 

I have decided for the right of this process to share with you all some NUMBERS that are pretty damn staggering.  These numbers are the finals that were given to me on the day of my pre-op appointement 5 days ago. 

Body Type:  Standard

Gender:  Female

Age: 40 (Im 41 now but I dont look any older)

Height 5'3"

Weight:  299.5 (oh ya, I gained some serious weight)

BMI:  51.4

Sugar poke: 178  (80-120 is ideal range)

Some updated numbers as of today (just 5 days later)  Sugar has dropped to between 106-145, Weight has dropped down to 281.3 pounds and blood pressure is 120/70.  I cant wait to see where this lifestyle change is going to take me.  I had someone ask me if I was afraid that I would change as a person with the weight loss and my response to them was that I would likely buy cuter shoes, hussy clothes and dance alot more.  I will always be who I am....just a heck of alot healthier. 

The last thing on my mind is my advocates.....I was told yesterday that my brother Ron wont be at the surgery as he emotionally cant handle it.  He says he hasnt been able to step into a hostpital since watching our mom die and he just cant do it. He also said he thinks its a bad "vibe" for him to be there because its like we are assuming something is going to be wrong.  He said nothing is going to go wrong so he doesnt need to be there.  I love him and I pray he is right.  I prefer to be over prepared.  He also does not agree with the surgery as he has a friend that recently died from complications related to the surgery so he is a little terrified to say the least.  He is my only full blooded sibling which makes him my only next of kin since I have no children, my parents have passed and I am not married.  Makes the advocate thing a little tricky.  So I have 4 people that I would trust to make any decisions for me on my behalf and only 2 of them are able to come to the surgery and one of them (Erica Ann) I hate even putting in that position because I cant say that I could make those decisions on her behalf.  I love her like a mother loves their child.  I am thankful and fortunate to have her by my side during this.  So that is what is going on in my little head right now....I am experiencing feelings of excitement, fear, anxiety, sadness and happiness all at once as the surgery grows closer.  We are planning a slumber party at the house the night before surgery so that my friends that want to go to the hospital with me will be there at 4am when I have to get up and be at the hospital at 5am with me.  It will be a fun night, we can play games and they can keep my mind busy.  Neil is already giving me lectures that I need to get my rest the night before surgery but I dont see that happening, I am going to be way to geared up.  They said at orientation that the patient that brought the most people with them for the surgery was 17....I am confident that I could break that record if the surgery wasnt at 7:30, meaning everyone would have to be there at 5am.  Im not really out to break any records anyways, I just want my besties with me that day.  I will check in again this weekend with an update of my last couple appointments prior to surgery.  Keep your fingers crossed for me and if you happen to be awake the morning of my surgery, send some white light my way!!



Pre-Op appointment

Ok so today was a super long day, I spent the first few hours in the morning doing some serious house cleaning.  I almost feel like Im nesting for the time I will be down from surgery.  Its like I want everything to be perfect so that I dont have to be worried about the house.  I am also preparing for a summer kickoff party that I host every year so there is quite a bit going on right now.  As for the pre-op appointment today, it started at 11:15 and we left at a little after 4pm.  We first met with a research nurse, then with the dietitian that reviewed what we would be eating for the next 2 weeks which is the controlled diet of 800-900 calories and it is purely protien.  They would like to see a "significant" weight loss during that 2 week period and when I say significant I do beleive they are looking for 20-30 pounds prior to surgery.  Or approximately 10% of your total body weight.  So that program starts for me tomorrow.  I spent a half hour just picking out the foods that I will be eating for the next 15 days and let me just say that all of the food for the 2 week period fit in one large bag and cost $200.  That included the supplements that I have to take as well so if you think about it, it really isnt that bad considering the end reward....After the dietician we met with an Exercise specialist that will be helping us develop an exercise program that is designed to work specifically for me.  I keep saying "we" because the pre op appointment was in a group setting and there were eight of us in the group not including the friends, spouses or relatives that joined for support.  Poor Neil was so incredibly bored he could hardly stand himself.  He is a trooper for coming along and for being next to me during every step of this so far.  I have a feeling that what he has seen so far is the easy stuff though, I think things are going to get rough before it all falls into place.  After the exercise guy we met with a Physicians assistant that talked in great detail about what to expect during each moment from here until about 30 days after surgery which are pretty clearly written out for you.  I will go into greater detail on these specifics as they are closer to unfolding.  After meeting in a group setting, I met with the PA one on one to talk about my medications and to give me an opportunity to ask any questions I may have regarding the next couple months.  The decision was made to start taking away my diabetes medication already so that I will not be fighting with low blood sugars prior to going into surgery.  I also weighed in and I WILL NOT be discussing my weight at this point because i cannot beleive how much I weigh!!!  UGGGG, so frustrating that I allowed so many factors in my life to control my eating over the last year.  I need to not beat myself up over it as I am now at least taking steps to improve my life.  After the appointments I spent a good 2 hours just getting the medications and the food all packaged by day so that everything would be ready for me for the next week.  I only did it for this week and then I will do it again next week.  I will be updating my blog much more frequently now as things will be happening with my body and my mind and I will be sharing those things with you.  Again, if you know of someone that is considering the surgery, please feel free to have them follow me on my journey, I look forward to taking alot of people along with me!!!  Until next time.....akuna mattada!!!!