Are You At Peace With Your Decision?





Me with the Behaviourlist Dr. Scott at Grand Health Partners





Has it really been 11 days since my last posting???  Wow my entire life has changed since then...lol  Not really but it sounded interesting and might have caught your attention.  Although my entire life has not yet changed, I am certainly feeling like I am on a journey heading in that direction and I am ready for this.  First of all let me tell you that it has been officially 3 weeks since I smoked my last cigarette and I am very proud of this accomplishment.  If nothing else, I have discovered what I am truly capable of if I want something bad enough.  I have done alot of soul searching and have made some pretty serious decisions and changes in my life over the last month.  One of the very first questions i was asked by the behaviourlist was "Are you at peace with this surgery and yourself, knowing the risks that are involved in this decision?"  Let me just say this, I love living and I am not ready to die but I am willing to take this risk so that I can live a longer and healthier life.  I am having the Duodenal Switch which is the most dangerous of all bariatric surgeries.  It has a death rate of 1 out of every 300 patients.  I have my ducks in a row and anyone that knows me, knows that as long as everything is planned out and organized "just in case" then I am at peace.  My will has been written and my wishes have been given in regards to the important people and things in my life.  Those that have walked beside me during much of my lifes journey will feel my love long after I have passed.   Quack Quack, lets move on to something not quite so sad.  I am going to do this and I am doing it while being surrounded by love.  There is alot of power in that statement.  At any rate, I passed the psychiatric evaluation with flying colors and those were the actual words out of the doctors mouth.  I am a very fortunate person because I have an incredibly strong support system of friends and family that will be my strength along the way, I am financially comfortable and fortunate enough to have some great insurance, I rated my overall happiness as an 8 out of 10 and I only lied once and that was when he asked me if I had ever been married.  I simply said "No", not because I dont recognize my previous marriage but because I didnt want to get into the psychological twist my previous marriage would have put on the interview.  Its as if they search for a reason during the interview process to determine a root cause for my morbid obesity.  I assure the world it wasnt because I was treated pourly as a child or did not feel loved, it isnt because I was picked on as a child or rediculed by my parents, and it isnt because I was in love with a woman.  I eat to much of the wrong stuff and I dont get enough exercise....its that simple.  Dont get me wrong, I am sure there are some genetic factors and family history that plays a roll in my obesity but the bottom line is that I was never taught to eat right as a child and I never learned as an adult.  I think the Doctor was shocked that I implied that the blame was all mine, no excuses from this fat girl....now lets get on with the solutions!!!  So at any rate, that went very well and Neil was with me the entire time.  I greatly appreciate the support, the love and the unconditional friendship that he is giving me during this process.  When I made the decision to have this done, the Doctor told me that I would need to have someone with me from beginning to end and I am so fortunate to have Neil as that person.  After meeting with the behaviourlist we then met with Dr. Kemmeter who is the surgeon as well as the Medical Director of Saint Mary's Health Care weight management program that will be doing the Duodenal Switch procedure.  Dr Kemmeter is by far the finest of all doctors to do this surgery.  I have done my research and I assure you, my life is in very capable hands.  He asked alot of questions and we discussed the differences between all of the procedures that are available and he agreed that the Duodonel Switch is the best option for my situation.  I was really worried that he was going to try to talk me out of it and into something less evasive but I was greatful that he did not do that.  The next morning we were on the 6th floor of Saint Marys Hospital getting an EGD done.  That procedure is when they put a camera down your throat into your stomach and your bowels to determine that everything is healthy.  They took a couple biopsies while they were in there to test for bacteria but I wont have those results until this week.  Other than waiting on those results, everything else looked great, there are no ulcers or any other concerns with my insides.  I also received the results of my lab work and the only thing that needs work is my Vitamin D.  I started taking 5,000IU of D3 today and hopefully that will be enough to get my levels to where they need to be.  I am excited that tomorrow is Monday because I am hoping to hear from my insurance company as well as the scheduler to get the surgery scheduled.  Tomorrow I will be starting my new eating regimen to get my body use to a high protien, low carb, no pop, no candy, no junk food, no fast food diet.  I ate my last piece of pizza and licorice today!!!  It isnt going to be easy but it is going to be worth it.  Yes, I am at peace with my decision.