Greek Yogurt and Vanilla Lace Bubble baths

Friday, July 22nd, 2011

Love the title?  That is what I just finished is an amazing bubble bath and Im working on my yocrunch blueberry Greek yogurt.  The yogurt will take me about an hour to eat.  I have not adapted to the Greek yogurt craze as of yet but it has about 3 times the amount of protien as a regular yogurt.  I have to admit, I miss my Yoplait Whips.  I am 5 weeks out today from my surgery and I like to consider myself one of the strongest people I know and let me tell you, this is the hardest thing I have ever done.  So many people have told me that I will adjust and that it gets easier and I will fall in love with  my sleeve "Sally".  I am patiently awaiting for that day to arrive.  I never know from day to day what kind of mood Sally is going to be in.  Something that I eat one day she denies access to the following day.  It makes me afraid to eat because I dont know how my body is going to react to it.  I was craving a taco salad the other night and Neil went and got me one at Taco Bell, of course I cant eat the shell but everything else is good  for me, I was able to eat about 3 bites and I was so full it made me sick.  The reality is that I am expecting Sally to accept foods she just isnt ready for.  Leafy greens and skinny pizza are a couple of those things.  I would say that my stomaches capacity for solid food is about 1-2 ounces.  I had a terrible episode the other day with "skinny pizza".  I admit I did it to myself because I was super hungry and my mouth was watering for it.  At any rate, I ate to much to fast and I will NEVER do that again.  At first I slimed (uncontrolled water filling your mouth), then I "foamed" and then I puked.

On a much brighter note, my incision pain is completely gone which is awesome.  I am still struggling with my blood pressure because its still running a litttle low.  Nothing deadly dangerous but the doctor has me keeping a close eye on it.  I am soooo anxious to get back to work and get back into the swing of things.  I think being out of work this long has actually made me a little on the depressed side.  I am stuggling with motivation to do ANYTHING but I know I am just suffering from "cabin fever" and probably a little lack of nutrition...I will be taking on a new position at work when I return and I am very excited about that.  I love new challenges.  Neil and I moved my office to the main floor and turned my old office into my workout room which is totally awesome, now I just need the motivation to use it.  I actually LOVE working out once I get into the groove of it, its just finding that groove.  I need me some Nikki Moser motivation.  I am taking a body shot every month and putting it on a shelf so that I can compare the differences.  My body is already changing but not enough to notice a "significant" change.  I am down 48 pounds since June 1st.  It sounds like alot but on a body the size that mine was its like a drop in the bucket....but I will take it gladly.  I have no complaints about the amount of weight I have lost, my only complaint is Sallys incredible mood swings.  I hear that we will learn to understand each other but I dont know how long that is suppose to take.

Saturday July 23, 2011
This evening finds me relaxing outside on my hammock with this cool laptop tray from Bed Bath and Beyond.  Enjoying the sounds of the birds singing, the music playing at the park and some ice cold water I am finally learning to enjoy.  Today has been a much better day for me and "Sally".  I have come to the conclusion that people lose so much weight with this surgery because they are terrrified to eat...lol  That is not completely far away from the truth but its more about me learning how to eat.  Tiny bites with alot of chewing...chew chew chew.   This morning I enjoyed a scrambled egg and one very small peice of sausage which took an hour to eat but I actually finished it.  Then I had a Clif protien bar at lunch.  I took the boys to "A taste of Grand Rapids" today and Im not sure what I was thinking there but it actually was alot easier on me then I thought it would be.  I have lost my taste for so many kinds of food that it wasnt terrible.  I did enjoy a couple bites of some bbq pulled pork.  It was 5 tickets for about 3 bites, Im not sure that it was worth that but thats my new life.  I had a woman post on the Obesity Help forum today that you should try to be down 50% of your excess weight by 3 months and 80% of your excess weight by the 6 month mark.  So let me do some math here....give me a minute!!!  My starting weight was 299.5 and my ideal weight is around 140 pounds based on the "charts".  That means my excess weight is roughly 160 pounds.  50% of that is 80 pounds by the 3 month mark and 128 pounds by the 6 month mark.  That not only seems unreasonable to me but it also seems unreachable.  Nothing is impossible since I have lost nearly 50 pounds in the last 7 weeks but the weight loss is bound to slow down sooner or later.  Im not going to stress over it because my surgeon doesnt expect the 80% mark until 18 months.  Now dont get me wrong, I have every intention of beating that goal but I dont think Im going to see it in 6 months....time and patience will tell the tale on that one.  I am sorry that I havent been keeping up on my blogs.  There have been many stresses in life as of late and those of you that are close to me are aware of the struggles and have helped me thru it and it is so greatly appreciated.  The last few weeks have certainly reminded me how precious life is and that we should take nothing for granted.  I will sign off with positive vibes that the next time you hear from me "Sally" and I will be the best of friends and life will be filled with hunky glory!!!  Love to you all!